The Kentucky Fried Bowl of Salt

What is it about KFC’s mashed potatoes that make people crave them more than is usual for that sort of thing? We all know they are not real, and we all know that chicken gravy is not really that color, but I eat ‘em, you eat ‘em, and now the chicken wizards have managed to design an entire meal-in-a-bowl around them. I was watching the commercial late at night and was admittedly intrigued/repelled by the idea of chicken, mashed potatos, corn, gravy and cheese all in the same ‘lil plastic bowl. Seeings how I go to KFC about once a decade or so, I thought I was due.

I took a turn through the ass-numbingly long line at the drive-thru (apparently their current bucket of legs and thighs special is quite popular) to receive my prize, and what I got was a surprisingly heavy lidded plastic dish lined with steam. I dug in, and sure enough, all the layers were present and accounted for. The bottom layer of taters was delicious, and the corn was crisp and juicy. The combination of brown gravy and melted cheese blend was tasty, but I was surprised to taste that the chicken was the only downer. The generous portion of fried chicken strips was so damn salty that they may as well have taken a few chicken strips and rolled them in kosher salt, dipped them in breading, and then rolled them in table salt, and then sprinkled sea salt on the finished product. Unlike my good friend Allen, I am not a huge salt person. I put some of that hand harvested French sea salt stuff my wife gets on a sandwich now and then..but thats about it. Lucky for me, the cashier screwed up the rest of my order, and so she gave me a free Coke to rehydrate my inert body. The sum up goes as follows: taters heavenly, corn delish, gravy/cheese slurpy good, mini salt licks bad. If I were judging this bowl on Poultry Star Search, I would give it three out of four chicken wings.