Who Can I hate?

It's tougher and tougher these days to publicly hate people. Society has become intolerant of any insensitivity towards anyone for any reason. Sure, we say that our country (USA in case any of you foreigners are reading this) is hate-filled and racist and backwards and shit, but try having a conversation in a major city about destroying some crappy little country and taking their oil just for the hell of it without pissing off the room. You simply can't anymore.

To alleviate confusion and aid all the video game developers, movie producers, flash animators, and general conversationalists, I've made this list of the last remaining things you can pick a fight without getting shunned or buried in hate-mail. It is a very short and sad list:

Nazis - Here's a target that videogames have exploited for near a decade (at least!) now. By using a World War II setting, game designers are allowed to have players hunt down and splatter open the heads of human targets without drawing an iota of negative press. Brilliant tactic used by the likes of Lucas (the hypocrite revisionist who made Greedo fire first) in the Medal of Honor series.

The Undead - Zombies and the like are always fair game, even when they don't pose any type of actual threat (which their slow movement and dissolving musculature usually indicate).

The Government - We sure do hate our government. The hidden powers within are always up to some sort of dark brooding mischief. Of course..half the country either thinks their main guy was simply a better choice than Kerry (potentially possible), or actually likes him..and the other half is educated and not blind :)

Lawyers - Insert favorite joke here.

Aliens - If you travel countless lightyears to come to this shithole of a wrecked planet with it's infestation of selfish bipeds, you must have bad intentions.

Osama Bin Laden - I'd say all terrorists, but I think there is enough sympathy for the IRA and Palestine to properly exclude it as a safe group. Osama though. Whoo boy. Let me at em.

Boy Bands - Don't know why. If a record executive asked me to be in a boy band right now I would drop everything and work on growing some designer facial hair...because I am sure the fuzz I have now is either too unruly or too heterosexual looking. Sure the music is crap and the market they cater too is stupid and immature, but hell if I wouldn't do it. And if you say you wouldn't you're either a liar or an idiot.

Britney Spears/Christina Aguillera/J-Lo - A word to the ladies - "Don't Hate." Like the boy bands, you'd do it if you could.

Plush Children's Icons - Be it Barney, the Teletubbies or Pokemon, if it's cute, fuzzy, and multicolored it absolutely must die in as horrific a way as possible. This has got to be the strangest phenomenon that everyone goes along with. I just can't come up with any reason why people would automatically react so violently to something so seemingly disarming and inconsequential. The exception to this is my generation's icons - like Sesame Street, whose characters should be revered like Gods.

Ogres, Orcs, and pretty much any large green things - Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings has brought this back in vogue.

The British, and the French, depending on context - The British if the topic is any period before or during the Revolution. The French are pretty much fair game for ridicule in movies and in conversation, as long as they aren't the target of direct violence.

Mimes - Related to the French thing, only you can kill them at will.

Televangelists - Everything that is wrong with organized religion, packed into one tidy figurehead. Benny Hinn however, can live.

I guess thats about it for now. You have probably all read my list of 101 things I hate (in August archives)..so I am pretty sure I could go on and on about people, fads, activities and so forth that I hate..but I dont want to start any arguments :)