The worst things on the net..
What is it about websites that drive you crazy? It is funny how there are so many..miniscule..things..that really drive me insane. I swear I am going to have a heart attack by age 35 (I am almost 34).
Webpages with music! I am sorry..I know some of you have blogs that have embedded code with music and video..but it freakin loads automatically to try to show what music you like, how cool you are..etc..but all it does is sap bandwidth and annoy the crap out of most people.
Flash intros! Ok, so flash is way cool and all, and you can make or see some truly artistic interfaces and so forth. But when you are simply trying to find the "location nearest you", and you gotta watch a huge flash into (after it takes a few seconds to buffer) and then find the tiny font with "store locations" at the bottom..etc. Just..give me the damn button that says "Skip intro"..oh and the "mute" button too, let me reiterate that one!
Stores that dont allow you to shop on the net! Sure, they have their company homepage, but no catalog of items, and you cannot even buy their stuff from their site. Lacoste is a prime example. Ok..so I like some "preppy" stuff..whatever. They have cool tennis stuff, and I play tennis. I dont just want Lacoste, because they are popular and have a menacing little alligator. I like a lot of semi-unheard of tennis brand clothes (like..Fred Perry, Lotto..)..ok..this is about shopping online! Not me defending my clothes...
Moronic 14 year olds! Thats right. All the high schoolers and junior high kids that type something like: "Hey, U lk kewl 2day. Dnt b l8 4 wrk! I will C U l8r, k?" As if the word "see" and "for" are so lengthy. For that matter, I know the word "at" is soooo tough and long and often misspelled that we have to create the @ symbol..but thats a whole other rant. Its those pesky 14 year olds..that come on random websites, spew out the lamest conversations ever..and reply back with "Clay Aiken RULEZ!..so F U !" Sigh. I can barely read what they type without rubbing my eyes, sighing, and wondering why there isnt some sort of age restriction for the net..because I hate teenagers.
People who still have 56k! Are you that cheap!? I mean..dont give me the "Well, I lost my job man"..then you should not be home on the net surfing around, right? Go find a freakin job! Friends of mine that take 2 years to upload a photo or mp3..oi..I just want to pull my hair out. I know they wont be able to afford their leased BMW M3s and Zegna suits and trips to Zanzibar if they spend 30 a month, instead of 22, for net access. Time to get your priorities in line...
Internet voting! I used to wonder why tv shows like "American Idol" are the top rated show..and then I realized how stupid Americans are. Mindless entertainment for stupid people. It is those same people who vote for things on CNN, ESPN and other websites that have polls that make no sense and have no impact on the show, website, society..etc.."Who will win the Apprentice?", "Do you watch too much television?", "Does Josh have anything better to do late tonight than write a blog entry?"..I could go on and on. Thank god for The Onion.
Ok..so yes, I do have better things to do. I need to sleep...its late, I am tired, my wife has a temp of 100.2 and I need to see if shes sleeping or is clamoring for some tea or anything. Good night everyone and log off too. See ya tomorrow!
12 Comments:
you're a laker lover in the land of the jailblazers? how do you do it?
i know this isn't related to the post--i was just checking your profile.
i'm an nba nut myself, and the laker season was very disappointing to me. i wanted the suns to win it all, but they get their asses handed to them in 5 games. at least houston and dallas put out a great series.
as for the "worst things on the net", i have a problem with flash intros as well. i;m there for the content--i don't care that the site designer knows how to program useless crap like that.
but maybe it's the computer retard in me talking. i mean, i only know enough to email, run my blog, and download various *entertainment*.
Ranting at its finest...thank you so much for the points you made!
not ALL teenagers talk like that. Ahem
Good idea. I'm going to add music and flash to my webpage...now if I only knew how.
amen amen amen
I think you described the perfect blog. The perfect blog is akin to enlightenment in the web sphere. We all need Christina Aguilera music video or two on our blogs, just to make the point.
laura: diehard lakers fan. its tough. i bleed purple and gold..always. but i had to get out of concrete jungle La and 500k for a fixer upper in torrance..when 500k can buy a mansion here, and i love the outdoors, the nicer people..etc. but i miss some restaurants and friends and family.
hey--what do you think of phil jackson returning?
it's exciting, but i don't know if it's the right decision. i had some choice words when jerry buss chose kobe over shaq at the beginning of the season.
i bleed purple and gold myself, and though i cam't stand kobe, he's still a laker. sometimes, you forgive family for things that you couldn't overlook in others. maybe i'm just sort of old fashioned this way.
it sure would be nice to have earl boykins or kirk hinrich as our point guard though...
laura, you just went up even more pegs in the ladder of respect for me, since u know stuff about hoops.
go to www.hoopsworld.com to read all the inside poop..abouyt every team. im there as "joekool"..and there are some espn, tnt analysts that come on, and other inside sources and writers for major newspapers..etc.
but f shaq. he was fat, overpaid and was a crybaby. kobe may have a huge ego, takes too many shots, possible rapist..etc but he plays to win and never came out of shape for the season, never degraded the city, didnt ask for 30 mil...etc. i hate shaq. but all in all, i root for the front of the jersey..not the back! like you!
boykins would be awesome. theres lots of itneresting rumors onthe site..so go check it out. :)
as for phil..im ECSTATIC he came back :)
about insidehoops.com--my cousin contributes from time to time. i really like hoopshype because one of my fave writers, dennis hans, is a contributor for that ezine.
well, the finals are looking really competitive now. 2 all. i play fantasy basketball too btw.
you know--you should join my league if you like to play. it's not a big league, but i'm fun to play with. i am willing to do trades (but i'm no moron). my team's name is the "chinky mcjews" an homage to a daily show news bit. no, i do not hate my kind--i am a far leftist and a black panther. but i do have a twisted and raunchy sense of humor.
you know my proudest moment in my fantasy basketball tenure? when lebron was a rookie in 2003, and i traded steve francis in december to get him. vereyone thought i was sniffing glue--i mean, a rookie for a proven all star? but in the end, i was the one laughing. compare steve francis's stats in 2003-20004 versus lebron's rookie stats, and you'll see that i was spot on about the whole thing.
i'm such a hoop geek. btw--i came up with a great idea about a skit involving larry david. in it, i play his proctologist. he is embarrased that i am the one checking his ass out, so i try to put him at ease by trying to act like one of the guys, so i start talking sports. but you see, the laker season was shot to hell, so instead of it being a leisurely sports convo, i start getting animated and ranting and raving while i am examining him. he starts to tesne up on my finger, and i am unaware that i am the cause for his tension. i say: hey--relax! i still need to slide another finger in...at the end of the show, i rear end him on the freeway...
what do you think?
i think that if you are 1.jewish 2.a lakers fan 3.cute 4.like larry david then 5. why didnt i meet you before my wife? ;) hehehehe.
as for fantasy hoops..send me an invite at jbg926@msn.com :) ill join. for fun or $ ?
"franchise" is an idiot. tons of talent and is an a-hole. might be a laker next year though. but i doubt it. i like the indy-bender trade though if it goes down.
your episode sounded good though.
i actually wrote some of a seinfeld episode before..about them all going to disneyland..and elaine was stuck on a broken ride that never went anywhere and was next to a really smelly guy, but behind her was the guy of her dreams..etc and a whole bunch of crap happened. but i like yer proctologist show. maybe the proctologist could have the seinfeld license plate: ASSMAN
i'm not jewish. i'm mostly chinese, but i have spanish, german, and russian blood. my last name is spanish. my man, otoh, is jewish. i am an agnostic, in that i beleive in a higher power that no puny human can ever hope to comprehend. culturally, i am a lapsed catholic.
as for how i look, people pretty much like my appearance. i'm light skinned, and have curly black hair. i'm really skinny.
i like to do comedy bits. so the proctology bit was a "lightbulb" moment that happned a few days ago...
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