Save the Independents!
I hate Hollywood. I really do. No, it certainly is not the reason I moved to Portland. God knows I miss the amount of theaters, especially hip independent theaters that populate LA and are hard to find in the City of Roses. But the reason I despise Hollywood is because they keep making these incredibly mundane movies like "Sahara". Now, I have nothing against Matthew McConuaghahehehehee, because I know he can act, or at least charm girls with his Texan drawl and 5 o'clock shadow. So he is obviously doing it for the money. But this movie..lets see..might this describe this movie (and a high percentage of Hollywood's mini blockbusters): a man stumbles across some ancient hidden treasure, a woman scientist type is attracted to him but despises his rude/sarcastic behavior, a plot is found out that could jeopardize millions, a comedian type comes along for the ride, the woman falls for the guy, the hero saves the USA/planet/galaxy, and the bad guy dies in the end.
How many movies does this encapsulate? Sahara? The Mummy? National Treasure? Most Stallone, Steven Seagal, Van Damme, The Rock, Travolta fill in the blank lame as hell movie that Middle America ensure will be number 1?!
Ok, I admit it. I am a movie snob. There, I have said it. I am sorry...but I'd barely get any of those movies on Netflix, let alone pay 6, 8, 10 dollars to go see one of them. Of course, everyone has some guilty pleasure movies that arent terribly great, that you just want to see some big cool effects, big cool boobs, and mediocre acting, and an even worse plot. EXCEPT..a blockbuster action movie can be done pretty well like "The Bourne Supremacy"...it can be somewhat campy/cheesy but still good like "Spiderman"...it can be unique and cool like "Kill Bill" and it can be a piece of shit like "The Chronicles of Riddick" (which was only missing the comedian role in my generic plot listed above).
Yes, "Riddick" had some interesting art direction and snazzy effects. Yeah, Vin Diesel has some pretty big muscles. His IQ and acting skills are also hovering just around the "rice pilaf" level. Do I hate Hollywood for making these movies? I am not sure. Maybe I hate America itself..the stupid, moronic masses that think "Soul Plane", "40 Days and 40 Nights", "Dude, Where's My Car"..and I could go on and on..are great movies, worth their hard earned dollars..etc.
Maybe there needs to be 2 theaters in each..mall/parking lot. One called the Moronic Megaplex, and the other for people whose cultural level is somewhere above Tulsa, Oklahoma (umm..no hard feelings Oklahomans..but there is probably not much cultural diversity and so forth there..and the name was just convenient!). So you got "White Chicks", "Starsky & Hutch", and "The Pacifier" in one theater and "Amelie", "Memento", and "Donnie Darko" in the other. Maybe those arent the best choices, and those final 3 movies arent my FAVORITE films, but I happen to enjoy them all, own all 3 on dvd, and think each was unique, wonderful, enjoyable..etc..and all 3 started off as an indepedent movie (or foreign)..and got a slightly wider release as it earned some "street cred".
Theres about 3 blockbusters a year, that are actually..quality, in my less than humble opinion. "Pirates of the Carribean" actually fits that mold. I am actually looking forward to "War of the Worlds". "Star Wars - Epiode III" will suck as usual, but I still want to see it bad.
Mmm...yeah...
Sigh.
I wish I liked the dumb movies that entertain us all. I really wish I did.
and I have no clever way to wrap up this blog entry..so..please..save your money, read a book.
6 Comments:
OMG...the picture cracks me up. I admit that Office Space is one of my guilty pleasures.
I don't appreciate the comment you left on my blog. Don't be a psycho blogger, ok? I am extremely busy and I comment when I can, so chill. I hate "Desert Rose" and pretty girls can sense weirdos like you a mile away, so they hide.
If you were trying to be lighthearted with your comment, it didn't come across that way.
Yikes. What did you do?
Anyway, Netflix saved my love of movies and TV. I can see what I want, including the strange, semi-artistic films and TV shows that no one else wants to see.
'Course, begs the question - are we really choosing or is it being chosen for us?
Wow that Maria is a feisty one! Biatch! Poor Josh, his sarcasm finally got the best of him. He's not in the sketchy catagory, Maria is!
- Sarah
Portland, OR
Maria,
I said this on your blog, but I'll say it here as well.
1. I am not asking/trolling for comments. I had jokingly said if I linked you, how come you didnt link me? I was teasing/being sarcastic, like 90% of my comments are on people's blogs (and I notice most people do the same thing on mine and on other peoples).
2. Regarding the pretty girls thing, again, same thing..I was being sarcastic..and yes, when I was in Utah, there were a lot of "Plain Jane's" there..and you happen to be pretty. Maybe I didnt use the right words...-shrug-
3. It was all a misunderstanding, but regardless, sorry for offending you.
Office Space and its little twin sister Clockwatchers are two of my favourite movies about office life. I say that as a bitter, twisted temp.
I haven't gone to a movie in such a long time because I don't think the experience is worth it and the movies are inevitably disappointing.
That said, I think we all have our secret guilty pleasure movies and TV shows. For some reason, I just love watching A Night at the Roxbury even though I know its total crap. That and the Muppets Take Manhattan.
PS Sting is a whiny dork.
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