Random Rants...or...where my stress goes

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Simply...ROFL



If you remember some of my earlier posts about proper sushi etiquette and so forth, you'll recall that I love the Japanese culture..specifially, how hilarious they are unintentionally.
Well..this video is a full 10 minutes long, and well worth it.
It is a game show that takes place in a library in which the contestants suffer incredibly outrageous tortures, without being able to utter a sound (of laughter, disgust or pain..etc).
I was doing my best to keep silent at work while laughing my arse off watching it.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Chuck Norris vs. Robert DeNiro



Chuck Norris and Robert DeNiro. Walker and Travis Bickle. Without a doubt, the two most badassed people on the planet. Ok, maybe.
But who exactly is the #1 badass on the planet and who is #2? I have often found myself pondering that exact question. We all know the mythical powers of Chuck Norris with his arsenal of roundhouse kicks and his anti-drug themed episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger. But then there is Robert DeNiro, with his mobster mentality and fine pistol whipping abilities. It's a very difficult decision, it really is. But it needs to be solved. None of the following points are made up even though they might seem too amazing to be true. But then again, nothing is as it seems when discussing... Robert DeNiro and Chuck Norris.

ROBERT DENIRO
DeNiro's parents divorced when his dad came out of the closet and then DeNiro dropped out of school to join a Little Italy gang (how adorable!) where he was known as Bobby Milk.

CHUCK NORRIS
Norris is almost 66 years old (3/10/40) and will still kick your ass (he was trained by THEE Bruce Lee). But chances are he won't become physical unless you kidnap his wife, threaten Dallas with nuclear weapons or mess with his partner, Trivette - then you really leave him no choice.
Point: Norris - he's old but still un-messwith-able.


ROBERT DENIRO
Best known for roles as gangsters and criminals. Embarassed himself as well as his career when he wore a fake breast in Meet the Fockers. His career is still going strong today with many new movies yet to be released.

CHUCK NORRIS
Best known as Cordell Walker in Walker, Texas Ranger. Always plays the role as a nice guy who kicks ass only as a last resort. There's really no low point in career as he retired undefeated as a World Middleweight Karate Champion. His cameo in Dodgeball, Total Gym infomercials, and his autographed photos being sold for only $107.95 on his official website will help put food on the table. And by "put food on the table", I mean "aid his probable steroid dependancy".
Point: DeNiro.


ROBERT DENIRO
Starred in Casino, where the word "fuck" was used 422 times. That's 2.4 times a minute.

CHUCK NORRIS
Won an award on Walker, Texas Ranger for the Best Christian Program. Never dropped a single F-bomb in any episode. I don't know about you but I'm still waiting for the unrated episode to surface where Walker spends the entire episode in a strip club and then trips a waitress for not giving proper change.
Point: DeNiro.


ROBERT DENIRO
Portraying Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas, he beat a man to death in a bar and then chopped him up and buried him in the desert. In Casino, he had a man's hand broken with a hammer for stealing from his casino.

CHUCK NORRIS
Although he does dish out his fair share of leaping roundhouse kicks, Cordell Walker's Native American father (named Ray Firewalker, by the way) raised him well and he prefers a non violent approach.
Point: DeNiro.


ROBERT DENIRO
Set a world record for Most Weight Gained for a Movie (60 pounds for Raging Bull).

CHUCK NORRIS
Set a world record by racing a boat from Chicago to Detroit (605 miles) in 12 hours 8 minutes. Also taught karate to Bob Barker.
Point: Norris- his recreational activities include racing boats (a bit white trashy to me, but still fun)... across the Great Lakes and teaching martial arts to people who KO Happy Gilmore.


ROBERT DENIRO
Supported Gore in 2000. Supports Democratic party.

CHUCK NORRIS
Supported Bush in 1988. George W. Bush has said that Norris is his favorite actor. Point: DeNiro. Do I need to explain why?


ROBERT DENIRO
Turned down the role of Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ.

CHUCK NORRIS
Turned down part of the Sensei in The Karate Kid because it was too violent. Pu$$y. Point: DeNiro.


ROBERT DENIRO
Was raised Jewish and frequently plays Italian characters.

CHUCK NORRIS
Won a Jewish Humanitarian Man of the Year Award... and isn't even Jewish.
Point: Norris.


ROBERT DENIRO
Very well known for his "You talkin' to me?" scene in Taxi Driver.

CHUCK NORRIS
Very well known for Walker, Texas Ranger including the theme song with lyrics such as "When you're in Texas, look behind you / 'cause that's... where the Ranger's gonna be". And judging from all of the unconscious bad guys, he was right.
Point: DeNiro - classic movie vs. 8 years of episodes = a slight advantage to Bobby D.



WINNER:
Robert DeNiro. DeNiro is the ultimate leader in general kickassery and isn't afraid to take roles because "they are too violent" like a certain martial arts star who's name starts with a 'N' and ends with an "orris". DeNiro will gladly beat anyone's ass without question. Sure, Norris can single handedly land an airplane by himself in the last season of Walker but one of DeNiro's movies influenced a man to try to assassinate Ronald Reagan so that Jodie Foster would like him. Completely insane? Yes. Does it show DeNiro's sheer power over the human race? Yes. Game over.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Many Mini Movie Musings

Ok, I saw several movies recently..heres a quick snapshot for you guys.

1. The Da Vinci Code. I saw it Saturday evening with the wife after a long day working in the yard. They didnt overdo the special effects, and the acting was fine. They picked several good actors for the roles aside from Tom Hanks, including Jurgen Prochnow, an actor I liked from "Das Boot", as well as Ian McKellen, Audrey Tautou, Alfred Molina, Paul Bettany and Jean Reno. Paul Bettany did perhaps the best job, as Silas. There were certainly some cheesy moments, and they changed a few small things to not tick off the Christian right-wing as much. Pretty faithful adaptation, but the book is better..but I expected as much. If you have not read the book, I would read it first I think, but it's certainly worth seeing. I STILL think the information and evidence that is presented in this movie is VERY convincing as potential truth..but then again, I am also not religious, and not Christian either.

2. United 93. This was on tv!!! Seriously. On the History channel. Or Discovery or something. Anyways..it was very interesting, sad, and well-done. It really provides more of the craziness that went on at military headquarters and airport control, than possible scenarios in the flight. Our administration was in chaos..like pouring water into an ant hill..and all the ants come running out and around in circles and so forth. I learned a lot, and enjoyed the film, as much as one could enjoy a film about this subject.

3. Russian Ark. I understand you most likely have not heard of this. This is a Russian movie (big surprise) about the last 300 years of Russian history, and it all takes place in the Hermitage museum in St.Petersburg. I realize this sounds incredibly boring to 99% of you. The magic behind it, is that the ENTIRE 90 minute movie is done in ONE TAKE. There is no editing. If you are at all interested in filmmaking, cinematography, directing..etc..you have got to see this movie. The extras on the dvd that show how it was filmed from concept to reality is almost more interesting than the film however. Check out the trailer here.

4. Shanghai Ghetto. This documentary is about the Jews who fled and escaped to Shanghai, China during WWII. As my grandfather and his 2 brother were includied in that group, I wanted to see and learn more about that period in history. It was a bit slow (as expected), but very fascinating nonetheless.

5. Serenity. I saw the preview and thought, "what geek is going to see this piece o' crap?!". Well, I then heard how good it was, and being that I love sci-fi effects..(no, not Star Trek), I rented it. It was entertaining and funny, some cool effects and just..interesting. It was totally predictable and cheesy too. But hey..thats almost what Netflix is for. So if you loved "Starship Troopers", you might like it. And I did not know half of the history behind the film..I just took as it was. Worth wasting 90 minutes on, but not $10.

6. Thank You For Smoking. My wife had read the book, so she had several preconceived notions, but I had only gone by the previews, actors..etc. We both laughed out loud in numerous scenes, the acting and writing were solid and it was really good. It attacks both hand-wringing liberals, as well as the money grubbing conservatives, and is simply a brilliant comedy.

7, 8, and 9. MI3..I gave an encapsulation of this in my Vancouver, BC blog entry. V for Vendetta..I believe I briefly reviewed this when I was in San Francisco about a month ago. Inside Man..also a pretty good movie, and again, I thnk I mentioned this in my blogs from a few weeks ago as well.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Vancouver, BC

Thursday morning my wife and I left for Vancouver about 8am. There was a decent amount of traffic at the border unfortunately, and we rolled into town around 1:30pm. We stayed at the Westin Grand on Robson. A great location, but a bit pricey with the extra taxes and parking fees. We walked up and down Robson Street the first day, looking in various stores, but we ended up not buying anything. We always try to find a xmas tree ornament from cities we visit, as well as a refrigerator magnet. We ended up finding both of them on Saturday. Anyways, tt started to rain, and it was humid, and ended up being the only day with poor weather.

I had made reservations for 7:15pm at CinCin, an Italian restaurant on Robson that I had read good things about online. We split a tiny salad, and I had a wood fired salmon dish that was quite good, but my wife ordered some chicken, that I tasted and was definitely the better of the two. It looked/tasted as though it was pan seared or fried for a minute and then slow roasted. It was definitely delicious. We were a bit tired, so after dinner we walked around a little more and then went back to the hotel.

Friday was a gorgeous day, and we walked to a funky little breakfast joint called The Elbow Room, where we had a huge breakfast, but it was amazing. I had some sort of shrimp, feta, bacon and other ingredients omelet. My wife had one called "The Hilary Swank", and I dont even recall what was in it, but it looked very good as well. I recommend that place. In fact..I think everywhere we ate, I'd go back to. So we walked down after breakfast to Yaletown a bit, but most of the stores were still closed, so we took a sea-taxi over to Granville Island to walk around. We stopped into an amazing farmers market, and looked at a lot of shops outside as well. After a couple hours, we headed back to Yaletown and perused some shops briefly before changing at our hotel and taking the bus up to Stanley Park. We rented some bikes and went around the park for a few hours. The park is incredible, and anyone who ever travels to Vancouver, should definitely rent bikes if the weather is permitting. There tons of trails through rainforests and giant trees, some beautiful stops to see amazing views of the city, a hidden aquarium, totem poles and more. It was perhaps, the best part of the trip. Certainly the most relaxing.
That night we went to a restaurant called Shabusen, on Burrard. It was teaming with people, and it was a shabu shabu type of environment. The food was pretty good..and we had an assortment of some sushi, bbq pork, chicken and beef, some tempura, and a few other goodies. I wouldnt say its a must-visit, and the service was mediocre, but a good place overall nonetheless. We were going to possibly catch a movie that night, but it didnt work out since we were tired and the timing was off. So we went into a bookstroe and some other shops and then went back to our hotel and went into the restaurant there for some coffee and dessert.

Saturday was again, a gorgeous day and we headed up fairly early to Grouse Mountain, hoping to stop at a local breakfast cafe type of place on the way, but found none. So we had some coffee and a muffin at a Starbucks. We had planned on hiking up Grouse Mountain, but we werent adequatetly dressed..and it looke dlike more of a 2 hour hike, than the 30 min-1 hour stroll that we were told. So we took the tram up (which was pricey). However, not only did we have some great views of the entire Vancouver area, but they had released 2 grizzly bears into their protected habitat and we were able to get about 5-10 feet from them. We saw them wrestling and walking around, bathing and having fun. My wife was loving it. It was definitely something special to see. After eating lunch and then heading down, we went on over to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. This looked exciting, but the bridge seemed pretty unstable and my wife was a bit scared, but we got across safely ;) We walked around the other bridges in the trees..it was quite cool. It seemed like the Ewok village. We went back to our hotel and then decided to go see a matinee of Mission Impossible 3. It was better than the last one, which I thought was horrible. There were some good moments and some bad ones, but it was cheesy light entertainment for a vacation. We got some shoes for my wife, cleaned up at the hotel, and then headed over to Feenie's for dinner. Rob Feenie is apparently some chef who beat Mario Batali in an Iron Chef competition. We split a prosciutto and spinach salad, which was simple to make and quite delicious. My wife decided on some pork loin, which looked good. After debating over a sablefish dish, I actually ordered a hamburger, which was supposedly one of the chef's specialties. I'd have to say, it was a damn good burger. Father's Office burger in Santa Monica is still superior, but this burger had an excellent cut of meat, and tasted quite good. It came with several dipping sauces for the fries..and the spicy mayo and the dill sauce were my 2 faves. We had planned on going to a chocolate place for dessert (Death by Chocolate), but instead my wife ordered a lemon-honey creme brulee, and I had a trio of fresh ice creams: wildflower-honey, strawberry orange blossom, and caramel-fleur du sel..all were excellent...though I was stuffed and could not finish it. Again, another restaurant I would certainly recommend for the decor, and food. Our waiter was amazing, but the front desk reservation guy was fairly rude. Oh, and there was a trillion hot chicks either dining there, or working there.

Sunday, again a perfect day weather-wise, and we were going to go over to Gastown, but kept hearing how it sucked, and as we walked in that direction, it looked like nothing special. So we went back over to Yaletown and bought some fresh pineapple, a large muffin, and some OJ and split that while sitting on some steps by their harbor. Everyone had their dogs out for a walk. We called our moms to wish them well on Mother's Day and then took a walk around the seafront and then back through some Yaletown shops. I had seen a restaurant on Rachel Ray's $40 a day, so we headed on over to the Sha-Lin noodle house on Broadway. She was on the money. We ordered some dragging noodles soup with chicken and veggies. The noodles were TERRIFIC. We also ordered some of their pan friend dumplings..which we saw several others eating. They were ENORMOUS. 12 were delivered. 4 were eaten. We took the other 8 back with us to Portland and I have 4 with me at work today. If we both end up with stomach aches..you will know why. Speaking of the drive back, we left about 2pm for Portland, and were stopped at 2:30pm at the border. We didnt proceed through until 3:25pm..it took that long. So plan ahead if you ever drive to/from Vancouver. Finally, we were on our way and made it all the way to Everett, WA before hitting traffic, but funny enough, there was hardly any traffic in Seattle. We made it home just before 8pm, did some unpacking and cleanup, and watched Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy, while munching on some homemade quesadillas.
I am sure I have left out many funny or interesting details about the trip..and I dont have any photos to share yet, so I included a bunch of links. But we had a really good trip, and cant wait to go there for the Olympics in 2010!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Training overload

Sorry I have been away from the blog. I was in training again last week (and next week I have another full week of it)...which explains much of my absence. Over the weekend I did some chores and errands, watched some basketball and relaxed as much as possible. It was not a super eventful weekend to be hones.t
Some ADT home alarm people came by and tried to sell us on a home securitry system. The system was all free, since we live on the corner and can do advertising for them..and its a pretty good deal to be honest, but we dont think we really need one, as our neighborhood is pretty darn safe. Plus, it was $40 a month for monitoring..and well..with other bills and payments, let al,one trying to save money, we just couldnt justify it.
Later this week I am leaving for Vancouver, BC, with the wife for a nice 4 day vacation.

During my sales training, we learned a buzzword that I think would make a good title for a Stephen Hawking book:
Scope of the Universe

There were a few other terms, in discussing some psychology terms that would make cool band names:
Gateways to Attraction
Intimate Terrorism
Crystallized Intelligence

Anyways..back to work..oh..and if you want to turn off the annoying music for the games, either refresh the blog, or click play to the squares game, lose quickly, and hit the music button. But I love that squares game. 109 squares is my best so far.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Denzel is a detective

I just saw Inside Man, and it was a cool flick, but afterwards, I got to thinking about Denzel Washington. Denzel Washington has starred in a slew of movies over the last 8-10 years, some hits, some misses. But I found a common theme. He plays the role of a detective or military investigator in almost every single movie. These are the movies he has done over that timeframe where he has been in that role

Inside Man
Man on Fire
The Manchurian Candidate
Out of Time
The Bone Collector
The Siege
Training Day
Fallen
Courage Under Fire

If I go back another year, we can add "Virtuosity" to the mix. Go back another 2 years and "The Pelican Brief" is added as well.

I really like Denzel, but I think its time for him to expand his horizons a notch.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

A new Costco scam!

I don't how many of you shop at Costco, but this may be useful to know. I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me and it could happen to you.

Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both start wiping your Windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Costco. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely Tomorrow.